When Life Hurts

We all hope that life would be a wonderful song and dance. We'd prefer that each day be filled with laughter and joy. I know that you can easily think of really good days where everything went well and the day was filled with smiles and enjoyment.

But such is NOT life every day. I am sure you know what I mean, Life can hurt sometimes. There are days when circumstances cause emotional, physical, or even spiritual pain. Sometimes the pain comes and remains for what seems like an unending season. I know people who believe they wrote the book on how to possess pain. For them, it seems that pain is just the continual reality of their lives.

Here's a silly question: Ever hurt? Ever had someone or a circumstance cause you pain? Of course you have. Each of us handle those pains differently. For me, if the pain is intense enough my reaction is to flee from it. I leave the environment thinking it will remain behind me. But I have discovered it just goes with me ... every time. As a matter of fact, when I flee I seem to ponder the pain even more. I feel alone and afraid ... but still my instinct is to run.

We all handle our pain differently. Some people hide their pain under intense anger. Others turn to alcohol or drugs. Some withdraw.  Others put on a show that all is well in their life. It's just a mask.

What is the better course when facing a painful day or season of circumstance?

Pray

Of course you knew I would suggest that. But truly it does help. Prayer is simply talking to the Lord. And please, don't pray this way: "Lord take this away." James chapter 1 tells us to consider it joy when we face trials. James says these painful times can actually be used of God to teach us to possess perseverance (endurance). So, the prayer should be: "Lord, what are you trying to teach me in this situation." Ask the Lord to make you a better Christian person because of it. Try to find the joy in the pain. And joy comes from knowing that the Lord is working in your life.

As weird as it may seem, the painful situation you find yourself in may be exactly where God wants you right now. Why? So He can move in your life in beneficial ways. So, don't ask the Lord to take the pain away. Ask him to show you why He is allowing it. The silver lining may be more obvious than you realize.

Ask Forgiveness if Necessary

If the painful situation involves another person, then ask them to forgive you (even if it is their fault - and we know it is ALWAYS their fault) :-) Seriously, nothing begins the healing process quite like asking for forgiveness. Of course you know that some people can't find it in their heart to forgive. Some people, I have discovered, just want to be angry. They tend to make themselves angry. This is their modus operandi. Not much can be done with these kinds of people.

But most people do have that soft spot that will eventually allow for forgiveness. Just ask them to forgive you and then do an act of kindness for them. Usually this will produce a very positive result. If it doesn't then you can have peace that you have done all you can do and the issue is with them, not you.

Pain does not exist in an environment of loving forgiveness. In fact, it cannot.

Get to a Happy Place

Now this may not get rid of the pain but it certainly can serve as a way to move it from the forefront of your thinking. Happy places can be anything of distraction and enjoyment. Reading, watching a favorite movie, taking a drive, visiting parents/grandparents, going to the driving range and smashing some perfect drives over 280 yards :-) ... whatever!

Temporarily removing yourself from the painful situation tends to ease the heaviness so that when you return it doesn't seem quite as bad.

Remember Better Days

Life is full of seasons. Many of them positive and happy. When life hurts it is easy to focus on the current season. But pondering and processing the pain will only maximize it's destructive affect.

The better approach is to realize that the current pain is simply that: current. It is a season. Seasons have a beginning point and an ending point. The pain will end. So, rather than dwell on the pain, reflect back on a better season. God gave us the ability to remember for beneficial reasons.

So, take out a picture album and walk down memory lane. You will find yourself smiling as you remember people and events from a better time. Then connect with an old friend on Facebook and talk about how it was back then. Talk with them about the fun of those days This is sure to produce laughter and enjoyment.

Looking back will help you realize that as you look forward you know that the end of the current pain will soon be in view.

Turn to Caring Friends

Please, when life hurts, don't block out the people who are closest to you. And when they ask you what's wrong, please don't say: "I don't want to talk about it." The most useless and meaningless sentence in the English language is: "I don't want to talk about it." You need to talk about it. With a friend for sure BUT especially with the person(s) that may be involved in the painful circumstance.

Talking about it gets its out there. There is no more wondering on the part of the friend or the adversary. This way the air can begin to be cleared and normality can resume. If you are just talking about it with a friend they will likely remind you that all is not bad in your world. You have special friends who love you. And when you know you are loved, truly, you can handle just about anything.

I hope this has been a blessing to you.

Tony Guthrie

Please leave your comments below. I would love to hear from you.

----------------------------------------------